Friday, January 27, 2012

Chronicles of a Pregnant Woman

I wrote this last year when I was pregnant. Clearly, I was very annoyed at that time. Just thought I’d share. P.S. Don’t judge me. I SWEAR I love my child to death! LOL

8 Weeks:
“Let’s be clear: I THINK I’m 8 weeks and 1 day pregnant, but I might not be. When my OB/GYN asked me when I had my last cycle, I guessed. I mean, come on, did she really just expect me to remember the last time that I was disgusting, bloated and irritated. I try to block out those times in my life. Not to mention the fact that I barely remember what I did yesterday; how would I remember when my last cycle was? Plus, when you’re pregnant you become really forgetful. Add that too my already forgetful nature and you’ve got one confused woman.
Anyway, back to the real issue: I’m pregnant. Yes, it’s an issue. Why? Because it’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life. Props to all the women who have been pregnant! Seriously! It’s hard work. And I don’t just mean going to work and coming back tired and then having to cook and clean hard. No! I mean being so utterly tired and weak that you think you’re baby, who you’re supposed to love unconditionally, is literally sucking the life out of your very soul! I mean constantly being nauseas but unable to throw up because you’re just one of the lucky women who is unable to and believe me, I’d rather throw up and feel some relief than feel like this ALL THE TIME. Not only that, I’m constipated! So, sure I’m taking in food, but nothing is coming out! The plumbing is clogged and all the holes are under construction and my stomach is as hard as a rock. Oh did I tell you about the indigestion and heartburn? Yup, the fun doesn’t stop here! Then, there are the SEVERE headaches that are so horribly painful that you think your head might explode into a million pieces just so you can feel a tiny inkling of relief.
There are women out there who do this more than once! Are they crazy! Have they totally lost their minds? And this isn’t even supposed to be the hard part. I can’t imagine what will happen when the little bugger decides to pop out and ruin my life. Knowing this feeling, I tell myself I will never go through it again. Not willingly anyway! I guess after you have the kid you forget all the pain and you love him or her so much that you’re willing to do it all over again and BLAH BLAH BLAH! SERIOUSLY! I don’t know if that’ll be me, but since I haven’t reached that point yet and haven’t felt that feeling yet, I’m sticking to my current theory: one child is enough!
Don’t get me wrong. I probably sound like some horrible woman who’s going to hate her child. I won’t (well, I hope not). I am looking forward to have a little baby of my own, but I’m not too sure about this whole pregnancy thing, that’s all. I know pregnancy and motherhood are supposed to be all bundles of rainbows and roses, but I gotta be honest here! It’s hard. I’m only 8 weeks in and I don’t know if I can do it. However, I am excited and happy. I AM!
Something my pregnancy has made me realize? I have THE GREATEST husband ever! I kid you not. He is amazing. I never expected him to be (ha!) but he is. He is taking care of me 110%. He cooks. He cleans. He’s sweet and caring. I don’t even have to call his name and he knows just what I need and when I need it. May God grant this great man the utmost happiness! Ameen!
So, pregnancy sucks but my husband is great. I guess you can’t have it all. For all the women who have had children, you are my hero and you deserve praise for the rest of your life. For the women who haven’t yet experienced the “joy” of pregnancy: GOOD LUCK SUCKERS!”

Until next time...


  1. LOL! good luck suckers. that phrase is so intensly funny. Iono if you have had your baby yet but just wait until your sitting up through out the night with a baby that screams the minute it touchs the crib but as long as your holding him/her they are perfectly content. and your sooooo annoyed and tired and exhausted and pissed off because your wonderful husband has work tomorrow, so his 'beauty sleep' is far more important than yours to come help. Your at the point were you think your literally going to jump off a bridge into traffic and then somehow you wake up at 8 in the morning. lying on the living room floor with a stinky little bundle curled up next to you. you have no idea how you fell asleep or how the baby managed to safely land on the floor next to you. but who cares because you got at least a few hours of precious sleep. and then your bundle of joy wakes up and smiles at you. and you forget everything that happened the night before. talk about frustrating. (i know my grammar is frustrating too) but just wait till something similar happens to you and you'll totally get my point.

    xx anya and baby kenzi

  2. LOL You're so funny, Anya! Yes, I had the baby. She is 6 and a half months now, mashallah! I've had those nights...sigh....and I def. forgot how hard they actually were. LOL It's funny, because here I am up early on a Saturday because my daughter is up and my husband is sleeping because he was "working all week." LOL Even though we both know my job is much more difficult! BTW I love your daughter's name. It's beauitful mashallah